"Where The Heart Is"

By David Cabela

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not.”  
1 Corinthians 2:5

One quiet evening at Saint Joseph Catholic Church in Chappell, Nebraska a family gathered to celebrate the life and morn the passing of their matriarch. After the rosary the night before the funeral, this humble woman’s youngest son, Thomas, rose from his pew and made his way up front. The church was small enough that he did not need a microphone. He looked around at the faces. He saw his five siblings sitting among their own families. His saw his wife and his own children. Many eyes were already wet. This woman, his mother, had positively and definitively touched the life of every person in the church. She had also been a picture of aging health before an automobile accident took her life.

Tom swallowed once before addressing his family members. “I want to read a story that most of you have probably never heard,” he said. “But it is one that has impacted my life beyond measure.”

He slowly unfolded a paper and briefly studied it as if he were going to read it, but as he began to speak, he only glanced down at the paper periodically. 

“This is a story of a young woman with a courage we should all try to emulate,” he began. “She was a very intelligent person. However, because she never went to college, she thought highly educated people were not only more informed than her, but smarter than her.

“This young woman was pregnant in 1953 and in very poor health because of two peptic ulcers in her stomach—one the size of a dime and the other the size of a quarter. The local doctors determined that the stress of the pregnancy would likely cause a perforated ulcer and ultimately her death.

“The fact she would lose the baby in her womb was a forgone conclusion and the doctors determined a number of necessary steps had to be taken if there was any chance for her to live. They decided to send her to the best medical doctors in the world, which at that time could be found at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. 

“After days of testing and examinations, the doctors brought her into an examination room and sat her down on a table. She was clothed only in a hospital gown and surrounded by five doctors headed by the brilliant internist, Dr. Gray—considered by many to be one of the great minds in his medical field.

“A logical man, Dr. Gray explained the obvious situation. He told her there was a very good chance she was going to die anyway, but if she would abort the baby in her womb, she might have a chance to live. 

“This little woman clenched her fist, looked him in the eye, and said, ‘I cannot do that.’

“The other doctors reinforced Dr. Gray’s prognosis in no uncertain terms. The only rational thing for her to do would be to abort the baby. Each doctor, one-by-one, lectured her on the futility of trying to keep a baby that had no chance to survive. After each verbal assault, the little, auburn-haired lady clenched her fist tighter and tighter until her knuckles and fingernails turned white. To each one of them she had the same simple and curt answer. ‘No.’

 “However, each time she said no to each of these accomplished and intelligent men a loud voice of doubt would scream in her head. ‘What’s a little, uneducated, nobody like you doing contradicting these highly educated men?’

“Despite the doubting voice in her head, she held her ground. But the great Dr. Gray had not had his turn to convince her yet. ‘Madam,’ he said looking down at her. ‘What is at issue here is not some heroic deed to save a baby that is going to die anyway. It is about saving your life so you can be with your husband, and so you can live to raise the five children you already have. It is not only for you, but it is the logical decision for your husband and your children. This baby will never know that you refused our advice, but your husband and children will know and will have a very difficult life without you as a result. Is that what you want?’

“At that, this little lady’s fist began to loosen until her hand relaxed. She then spoke timidly, but with conviction. ‘Doctor, I do not want to die. But I could never take the life of one of my children to save my own life.’

“Silence followed. The four confounded doctors began to file out, each one of them shaking his head in disbelief. Only Dr. Gray remained. And there this woman sat on a cold table with a large light above her head all alone in the big empty room face-to-face with this man considered by his peers to be one of the smartest doctors in his field.

“He took a step back and studied this little lady silently in the cold room for what seemed many minutes before finally speaking. ‘I have seen great courage in my life, but it pales in comparison to yours.’ His next statement shocked the humble woman. ‘I genuflect to your courage.’ Then he turned to walk away.

“At the door, he turned back to her. ‘When you were being questioned by my team of doctors I noticed your fist was clenched. May I ask what is in it?’

“The young pregnant woman, barely over five-feet tall, opened her hand to reveal a small piece of metal in her palm. The doctor walked back to examine it, but did not recognize the image stamped upon it. He asked, ‘Whose image is that?’ 

“She told him it was the image of Saint Gerard.

“The doctor asked who Saint Gerard was and why was she holding so tight to his image. She said, ‘Saint Gerard is the patron saint of mothers and especially pregnant mothers. When your doctors tried to convince me to take my child’s life, I prayed to God through the intercession of Saint Gerard to ask Almighty God to give me the strength to do the right thing.’

“Dr. Gray then asked, ‘How will you know if you have done the right thing?’

“She answered, ‘I will tell my husband that if I should die during this pregnancy or during the delivery and the baby should live to name the baby after Saint Gerard.’

“The doctor stared at her for a moment and then said, ‘Madam, your courage and convictions are strong, but your logic is unconvincing. My report will recommend that you abort the baby.’ Dr. Gray turned and left the room. The frail and gentle lady sat alone in the cold room under the big light and prayed. She never saw Dr. Gray again.

“God, true to His Word, gave the little lady a blond-haired, blue-eyed, baby boy. And true to her word, the little lady named her baby after the saint. His name is Thomas Gerard Cabela and I stand here before you all as a living testament to the most loving and courageous woman any of us have ever known.”

Thomas refolded his paper and looked out as his family. “Mom gave so much and asked for nothing in return. Her faith, love, and courage literally manifested into a human life. Mom was a great wife, mother, friend, example, and spiritual guide. She was, without question, one-of-a-kind.”

Sometimes, the best way to understand a person is to hear a story about his mother--the one who gave him life, the one who loved with all her heart, the one who sacrificed her desires, her dreams, her very self, for her children.

Dick Cabela’s mother was a woman who loved her son so much that she allowed him to suffer as he struggled hrough polio. By today’s coddling standards, she might be accused of abuse or endangerment. But she suffered right along with Dick and the fact that she did not pick him up had a profound impact on the rest of his life. That takes a different kind of person. But no story about Dick’s mother, Marian Cabela, better illustrates who she was better than the story of her youngest child’s birth.

When Dick was diagnosed with polio, Marian knew she had to do everything she could to help her child live and prosper. She followed the doctor’s advice. She sacrificed her joy and Dick’s short-term comfort to do what was best for him. She believed the doctors had his best interest in mind. She trusted them. She knew they had more knowledge about polio than she did. Her humility allowed her to accept their prescription.

Some years later, other doctors looking out for her best interests gave her different advice. She knew they were probably right. She respected their knowledge, but she believed true love required sacrifice and was willing to sacrifice her very life for the mere chance that one of her children might live. And though on the surface, the doctor’s advice did seem logical, to a woman whose self-love had no meaning without selflessness, it was completely devoid of all logic. 

To Marian Cabela there was only one logical choice. She had no desire to die, but to give one’s life for another is the greatest love. And make no mistake about it, she gave her life every day for her children.

Her story, her life, did so much more than influence the lives of her children. It shaped them. 

We live in a world that constantly suggests all that matters is how we feel and as long as what we do makes us feel good or empowers us or enhances our self-worth then it must be okay. Dick’s mother would argue the only way to truly feel good or be empowered or enhance your self-worth would be to sacrifice yourself for others. 

That was the example Dick Cabela grew up with. That is where he came from.

Where we come from often guides who we become. We can reject our past or we can embrace it. Dick’s parents were not perfect, but they did the best they could and though their love was sometimes tough, Dick and his siblings never had a need to question it. When Dick and Mary became parents, they were not perfect either, but their children saw them put in the effort it takes to love all nine of them as individuals. And love is an action, it is a verb. It requires that you give up something you want or need to meet the needs and wants of someone else. 

Marian Cabela believed what Jesus said about Himself, about His Father, and about our duties as children of God. She believed it with all her heart. He never said life was going to be easy. He never said you could only care about yourself. He never said sin was relative to the situation you were in. But He did say God was our Father. Marian trusted Him. Sometimes, that trust was tested. But she believed God loves us enough to give us trials and to see us through them. He loves us enough to say no. He loves us enough to sometimes allow us to suffer. He loves us enough to die for us. 

Dick’s mother did not pick him up when he fell as a child because she loved him. As a result Dick had to endure pain and trial. But he never questioned if his mother loved him. She proved it day in and day out with the many sacrifices mothers happily endure for their children.

Dick Cabela’s mother was willing to give her life just for the chance that one of her unborn children could live. She gave her life in little ways every single day for the children she believed belonged to God. He entrusted them to her and she did not take that lightly. 

Marian’s faith brought life to her family—literally. Dick saw that. His siblings saw it. That kind of faith is contagious.